FAMILY

 Today's discussion reminds me of how my state and life choice right now, is the total opposite of what my family defines success. When I say family, I'm including all the aunts and uncles, the whole extended version of it all. 

I may be wrong tho, but the vibe I got growing up was that, the only career that matter(ed) were those that comes with status ie doctor or lawyer or in my family, mum hoped I became an ustazah.

Even if Im not any of those above, to mum, which she was clear about especially recently, if Im not working, ie generating income of my own, Im not benefiting the society. 

When these topics of money or working comes up with her, I often laugh it off - knowing full well explaining to her about the purpose of my life choice will not be something she can comprehend, or relate with. 

Did it affect me then? I didnt think so. 

Does it affect me now thinking about it? Its more, disappointment. Because if she can relate or understand, means she can morally support me, which i guess must be a nice feeling to have.

But does it change my decision to stay home and focus my time solely on my kids? Absolutely not.

Im not blaming her tho. I used to bluntly go against her and told her "to be a mum and quit her job", so I m not one to hold in against her when she speaks her mind about my own parenting as well.😅

This post does not intend to disregard those who choose to work tho, or decide some other strategy for their family. In fact, it serves as a form of encouragement I hope. Cause if you need to work for example, or if you need your husband to stay home for the kids - to be the best of yourself to your family, then dont let anyone tell you otherwise. At the end of the day, all you need is just that quality time with your family. And Ive been honest when I say this to a few of my working mom friends, I honestly dont know how they can put their 100% at work, and come home to continue giving 100% to their family. And do it again the next day with vigor. It is something I have yet to be able to do, and its trully inspiring to see how strong a human being can be both inside and out.

Till date, Im more than convinced that the only way I can be the best version of myself to my family is if I focus most days on it (ofcourse not at all times, im a human being. You think im crazy??). 

I was not raised to know how to mom, nor did I learn to do so in school. Neither did I miraculously 'just know' exactly what to do or not to do right after my first child goes through my birth canal. 

I need time, to learn about my child, to learn about the phases a person goes through growing up, to learn about human behaviours, to learn about myself, in order to deliver this new found responsibility as a parent. Among other things.

Ofcourse, Ive set a time I will go back to 'work', which may be in a form of a job or maybe not. This is, afterall, the process of my life journey. 

Ultimately, how a person chooses to live his or her life should be entirely up to them. Sometimes all each of us need is a little faith, not only in Allah 'azza wajal, but also in each other. 

Although there are those few who may be nassicists, but generally I truly believe we all begin with good intention. 

We gotto listen to HSM when they go "WE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER~".