What makes a human humane

Hmm in retrospect to my previous post, evidently creating punishment doesnt work on the kids. It backfired, they rebel further and soon they showed their own fangs. I got fighters - these little humans are deep rooted on their individual selves enough to know to defend themselves when threatened. So that should be a good thing. 

Its tricky this time. Three is indeed a crowd. Ive got 3 totally different individuals who have yet to learn much about themselves, so they are facing quite a challenge trying to interact and learn from each other.

I got one highly sensitive kid who struggles to control her aggression towards her sisters. She feels everything, and she feels them so much deeper. The trick, is to be there and just ride through her waves of emotions. Sounds easy? Not at all for me. Im a straight-forward person who deals with issues head on. So I dont dwell with feelings too much. So to have to sit through someone else's emotions when I lack them myself is a great challenge for me. I guess its similar for some others too. So, feelings. Feelings are important. Feelings are important. To take my time and ride the waves through my own feelings. That takes practise. It takes strong self-awareness to be able to identify what exactly am I dealing with..

That brings me to my mini-me - a suppressor. She often go quiet when scolded and soon she can continue playing as if nothing happened. Then she will whine on normal days (i assume its to steam off those suppressed feelings she had previously) and that will easily flip me out. Because then she will attempt with all her might, to find fault or complain about everything - why her pillow is one arm away, why her milk is not hot (when she has been drinking normal temp milk all her life), why am I talking, why is her hair on her head, why did I make her bread that she asked for etc etc. Again, rideee through the waves of emotionss - and we shall pass.

The last one. The last one learns, very fast. You do it once and you will notice your reenachment many many many times. She follows both good and bad traits, and she often "doesnt care", as she would say when we ask her to do something. And it seems everybody "is very naughty". 🤷‍♀️ I really dont like to use negative words like naughty and its heartbreaking when your kiddos use it unsparingly. A rebel - definitely will do the total opposite of whats told.

I guess the strategy is always the same - take the time to understand their pov and thus react with grace. Its a simple concept where we take the time to allow everyone to be heard. And yet at the same time i need to acknowledge that I too am human and listening to the daily demands of three little humans require a lot of effort and consciousness on my part. Efforts and energy depletes, thus consciousness can be compromised. 

To ensure I make time for myself and I also make time for the kids, and I also make time for my darling husband, and to still be able to be in touch with other family and friends, is in itself its own struggle. 

But above all else is definitely to take care ones self. Ive lost touch with myself - my own masirah. 

What I need to do for myself on a daily basis from 24 July - 24 Aug:

♡wake up at 5 - pray taubat/hajat, recite ahdan

♡10am: recite 2 pages of the Qur'an 

♡10.30am: 20mins exercise

♡11 am: plan the day - activity/food/prep

♡11.30 - 12.45 sleep